I thought I could leave it all behind

Evening all

I do hope you're all safe and well!

I sit here on a Saturday evening, absorbing the damp scene through the living room window. Unfortunately, in this particular part of Scotland that I live in, we are not experiencing the fluffy white stuff that so many of you seem to be enjoying recently.

Despite the annoying lack of sledging opportunities, I'm enjoying the quaint peace and safety from the little home I share with my pregnant partner Emma and two sons, Kian and Elijah.

So, the reason for this post?

Towards the end of the summer, about 5 months ago now, I announced that I was leaving my photography behind. Plain and simple. This wasn't an overnight decision or a quest for attention, but more a deliberation that had been mulled over in my head for quite some time. Although, I have to admit, the abundance of lovely messages wishing me well were overwhelming.

What was the reason for my decision? Well, there were a number of factors. Cost and time were two huge ones and kind of go hand in hand. Further to this, I suppose the slight panic of discovering I was bringing another little person into the world brought this on! However, mostly, at the time I hadn't a need for photography to take me away from stress or upheaval.

Deep down I've always known that photography was a way of escaping stresses in my life. My life is wonderful, I must emphasise this, but at the same time I must acknowledge that photography rescued me from sustained periods of pressure. Photography brought escapism and distraction from times of mental hardship.  However the upcoming time restrictions accompanied with only wanting to create work that had a collective end product i.e. Partition book, made me rethink my photography and I couldn't see it being sustainable. And, at this time, I was totally comfortable with my decision.

However, in recent weeks, I've found myself reaching out for my camera. And to no suprise, it has also been a time of intense pressure on my shoulders. Thankfully I have a huge network of love and support so I will comfortably overcome any hurdles. My photography will only aid this.

So, in short, all I wanted to say was that I am back. I'm back with a camera. I'm back with a new project - details to follow - and I'm back supporting everyone who has supported my work over the years.

Maybe I was naive to say that I could disregard photography and its merits in my life. I won't be making that mistake again.

John